My Raiders

Why I don't want to play....

I've been playin football for 7 years and it took me getting an intrest in eastern philosophy, religion, and martial arts to realize i dont want to do it anymore. I played football mainly to take out my anger legaly and be my self, but im not that person anymore. Now I play just because people want me to and think im good at it. My coaches always said it should be fun, and it was, but not anymore. Yesterday i was eating lunch with some people from the team and i got a fortune that said "you will have to make a huge change in your life for it to be satisfactory." Now, most people would say "thats just a fortune cookie" but they are wrong. In reading a books on Eastern Philosophy i read that fortunes are just things to think about and give people the chance to make their lives what they want, they dont have to though. This goes the same for taoism, taoism is a way of life not a religion. You dont have to leave your religion to be a taoist, just bring it into your everyday life. The Tao says a persons life should flow and be rid of suffering. That is where i started thinking of why am i so unhappy all the time? The suffering is not physical, we go through physical suffering all the time, but it is mental and spiritual. Now, i have alot of studyin and reading and meditation to go till i fully understand, but my suffering now is that i am not living my life the way i want it to be, i am living the way everyone else thinks it should be or wants it to be, and im not making myself happy, but making others happy. i like making people happy, as long as i make myself happy at the same time. Going back to the fortune, i think that letting go of football and doing what makes me happy and living my life. Football is not my life plan and i don't need it in high school or college. In high school i have a job, school, friends, and basketball as a tme to have fun doing a sport, not killing myself for a coach that thinks that is what has to be done to get there. Also, i have night school and my new intrests in philosophy and martial arts. In college, i plan to study bussiness management and possably agriculture. Outside of school i will have volleyball, surfing, philosophy, martial arts, and what ever else i have time to do. After college i want to coach football, move on a ranch, continue with philosophy and martial arts, and start a bussiness with the family. When i show my mom this she will most likely say "i don't care you aren't quitting" but i am just doing something i should have done last year. Im growing up, im not quitting, football is not my life, sports are. My mom will also say "what are you going to tell your team and your coaches?" ill just tell them the same thing...then i can move on, make some money, study philosophy, start on martial arts, find a place in life, go to college with trevor and start a life i wanted, not what my mom, dad, coaches, or friends wanted. I will continue to lift, and run and stay in shape, just not with the intensity of football.

LIFTING

RAVENS

RAIDERS